Courage to Choose

In my recent post What Does Courage Look Like, I shared my appliance challenge with you. 
I would love to report that the part came in, I installed the part, put the machine back together, and we all lived happily ever after. 

The part came in.  I installed the part, put the machine back together, but the happily ever after did not come.  The dryer did turn on. The drum did turn.  However, the dryer still did not get hot.  I was not very happy.  I was discouraged.  I thought I had a home run on this one.  I was angry.  I had "wasted" two evenings of my time.  I spent money on this.  Then it came; the pause.

I do not remember who told me this, but it always stuck with me.  "Between every stimulus and every response, there is a pause.  During that pause is when you get to choose your response."  I sat on the floor in front of that dryer and I had to make a choice.  Was I going to be angry and take it out on my family?  Was I going to let that "little boy" in my head feed me lies about my identity?  Was I going to call a repairman? 

I made the choice to extend the pause.  I walked away from the dryer and went back to my computer.  I went back to the website www.repairclinic.com to see what the options were.  I was disheartened to see that the heating element was the next thing that could be wrong.  This was going to be expensive and was going to result in a couple of days of waiting for the part.  They did have a video that showed how to test the heating element.  I made a choice to dive back into the battle.  You can see the heating element lying on the floor in the picture. 

So next time you face a challenge and things are not going the way they should take time to reflect during the pause.  The pause is not always the same length.  Sometimes the pause is very short.  Sometimes you have the choice to extend the pause.  Sometimes they are longer.  No matter the length of the pause you have a choice. 

Your spouse says something you do not like; pause. 

Your boss calls you into the office. pause.

You catch your child doing something they shouldn't; pause. 

You hear gunfire; very SHORT PAUSE. 

You read that political post from your friend on Facebook; BIG LONG PAUSE.

Some things are out of our control, but our response is in our control.  Choose to persevere.  Choose to walk away and cool down.  Choose to take the higher road.  Choose to be courageous.

What?  You want to know how the story ended?  I pulled the top panel off.  I removed the control panel and the front panel.  I pulled out the housing for the heating element.  As I do I notice it.  There was a wire that had come undone in the trauma of putting the machine back together the first time.  I went ahead and tested everything.  I put the machine back together and it was HOT!!!

What circumstances or relationships do you need have the courage to choose a different response during the pause?

Like what you are reading?  Pause now and hit share.  Follow me on Twitter @brandonalverson